Do Not Grow Weary

I had a rough Spring break. I had a lot of conflict and people who opposed my choices. I will admit that I got angry and I was confused as to why people who claim to care about me would act this way towards me. I felt like I had been ganged up on and that everyone was just out to get me because they didn't like the choices that I was making. I didn't understand why I was being treated like a child who can't make decisions for the next steps to take in life, but mostly, I didn't understand why God was letting me go through such a rough time. I don't just mean this one disagreement, but over the last year, things have been thrown at me like darts. Everything felt upside down and I felt lost and alone without the approval of my family. But I went to church this morning and everything changed. Pastor Paul Wright talked about a lot of different things this morning, but he mostly focused on Caleb (One of the spies that came back and actually said that the Israelite army could take the promise land despite the giants). He talked about how Caleb literally means, "follows God around like a dog", but Caleb wasn't even mentioned for a long time after he quieted the people who were fearful of the giants. One thing that Pastor Paul said that really stuck out to me was that Caleb wholly followed after God. If you wholly follow after God, the things that people say to you and do to you really don't matter. If you are following Him, that's all that matters. If you are constantly listening to everything that everyone around you says, are you really listening to the voice of God? (I am preaching this to myself above all people). It is a concept that everyone knows, but seems to throw out the window in times of chaos and stress! We forget that God is all powerful and we start looking at the rising waters beneath our feet, just like when Peter walked on the water. When we begin worrying about how others will feel or what they will say, that's when you start sinking and eventually drowning. You will feel like you have no motivation for anything and depression will start creeping in and taking over your life. Trust me, I've been there! When you get to that point, you start to question if God is even listening, then if He even cares, and finally you begin to wonder if He is even real. You will wallow in self pity and doubt until one day, the silence breaks and you hear His voice. He says something like, "Hey you! Yeah. You. Over here. See here in my word? This is what I've been trying to tell you for so long. I love you. Come home." It really is that simple. A verse that Pastor Paul used in his message this morning that really helped bring this concept home for me is Galatians 6:9. 

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

See I grew tired of trying to do the right thing and feeling like I still lost, but one day, I will reap a harvest that can never be taken away. Be different as God calls you to be different. Don't fret and worry about people who say that you are doing the wrong thing as long as you are following His word. Pray about His will and follow it! Don't grow weary of following Him for He is with you wherever you go! If you find yourself becoming weary and burdened, 

"but those who hope in the Lord

    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint." Is. 40;31

To sum it all up:

1. Rely on the direction of God and do not worry about what other people think of you. 

2. Look to Him in stress and chaos

3. Do not grow wearing in doing good. 

God Bless!

Tell the World

Something I have learned recently is that no matter how far you run or fall from grace, the Lord is still faithful. He still has plans for your life and he holds you in the palm of His hand. In light of that, it is our constant responsibility as followers of Christ to share that Good News with everyone that we possibly can. Running around screaming Jesus can be effective in very limited circumstances, but not usually. God is not always expecting you to walk up to random strangers and ask them if they know Jesus (although He can and does). He is simply asking us to live everyday as examples and temples of His glory. We should be looking for someone to build a relationship with and then share Jesus. We should also be looking for young Christians that we can teach and disciple. How are young Christians to survive if we just say "Here's the love of Jesus! Glad you found Him. Good luck!"? We are to teach and encourage them daily. The church should me missions minded. The purpose of salvation is to save those whom He loves and that is why we should spend at least a little bit of our time everyday to focus on spreading the Gospel! 

Begin praying that the Lord will help you to have a heart for missions and that you would encounter someone to help have THE ENCOUNTER every single day! Pray for countries, people groups, and missionaries all around the world! 

Love is a Universal Language

I was kinda the invisible kid in high school. That's how I saw myself, anyway. I was the awkward kid who never really said much unless I was with my friends. I didn't raise my hand in class and I always felt out of place. I decided that college would be different. I needed to be different. Since I moved to Johnson City, I have had to rely on God a lot because there are times that I am by myself. I have had to rely on him for lots of love and to have someone to just talk to when I miss home or need encouragement. I decided to start making a difference by sitting with random people who were alone at lunch. Now, this is all praise and glory to God because I could never do this without Him. It was really hard when I first started because it was uncomfortable and towards the beginning, people wouldn't even say hello when I greeted them. I was afraid of rejection. When I was in high school, I talked to one of my aunts about how I had a hard time making friends and she told me that one moment of courage can change your life, so I challenged myself to do that. I walked past a gentleman sitting alone (he works for the school's food service). I felt the Lord nudge me to sit with him, but I was afraid because I didn't know him and there weren't many people in the room at the time. Nevertheless, I obeyed and sat with him. We got to talking and religion came up and we got to talk about a few things. When the time came for him to leave, he said, "you know, I really didn't wanna come to work today because it is my birthday". So naturally, I told him to have a happy birthday and he smiled, thanked me, and went on his way. This is just one example of the countless random people I have met this week. I promise you that if you follow the Lord's direction, He will bring you to some many opportunities to witness and show the love of Christ. You'd be surprised to see how many people are willing to accept it. I challenge you this week to go out and sit with someone random at school, work, or maybe even a public place. Talk to them, show them the love of Christ, but most of all, let the Lord lead you to witness. Love is a universal language. Let it break your barriers.

Purpose Driven?

I started at a new church today and something that Pastor Jon said really caught my attention. He said, "I do things on purpose. I have prayer time and read the Word on purpose." To you that may sound weird or maybe even plain, but to me, those words shook my very being. It didn't hit me later though. I was sitting in my dorm room on my bed that is about 4 feet off the ground writing in my prayer journal. I used to be kind of strange with purposefully reading my Bible or prayer when I didn't feel like it. I thought God might take it as me bringing lip service to Him. "Well God, I don't feel like talking to you and I don't feel like learning about your interests, but I guess I will". I thought God would be offended if I came with this sort of attitude to Him. I thought it showed a lack of love so I stopped going into His presence and reading His Word because I didn't want to feel like that. Today, Pastor Jon's words tore every bit of that rejection fear away from me. I walked into my room, picked up my Bible, and said, "I want to be deliberate. I want to do this on purpose." For once, I finally understood that when we bring ourselves when we don't feel like it, it doesn't show a lack of love. In fact, it is the ACT of love. Love is about giving up yourself, even when you don't feel like it, for someone else. Love is about giving. When you are worn and weary and you can't go on, but yet you still give of your time, that is love and God honors that. All He wants from us is our love, our commitment. Don't be afraid to be purposeful. Be deliberate.

From Gray to Grace

My youth group went to camp this week and I thought it was a good idea to share with anyone who may read this what the Lord did for me.

Over the past couple of months, I have been struggling with what I believe was the onset of depression. I used to have frequent anxiety attacks and those were beginning to return as well. I didn't quite understand what I was going through so I didn't realize that I needed help, so naturally,  I didn't ask for it. I was having a hard time feeling anything except for sadness. I was broken and I didn't even know it because I couldn't feel. I would sit in my group of friends and stare at the wall and just be completely disengaged from everyone. My close friends would always ask what was wrong and my only reply was that I was tired. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't lying because I truly was tired, but there was more going on and I didn't know how to explain it. I didn't know what was going on inside my head and my heart. It was like everything was gray, but I didn't really notice it.

While at camp this week, God completely wrecked my life. Again. He continues to amaze me. On Wednesday (July 13, 2016), we had a fire tunnel. In case you don't know what a fire tunnel is, it's where people make a "tunnel" out of two lines of people and you walk between them and they pray over you. IT'S AWESOME. I went through the fire tunnel and the Holy Ghost was all over me. I could feel His power like crazy, but I still wasn't completely free. I was praying with and for people and then someone came over to me and began to pray. I was slain in the Spirit and I had a vision and God spoke to me. It went as follows:

I was asking to be free and to be able to feel again. He said that in order for that to occur, He had to take something from me. I didn't mind. At this point, I was desperate and I knew that He was good, so I didn't fear. I saw a hand reach into the left side of my chest and pull my heart out. It was gray and shriveled and it wasn't beating. It didn't move at all. Then, the heart was transformed into a new, red, beating, vibrant heart. It was very large and bursting with color. Then I asked Him to renew my mind because battling with your mind is a lot of the fight. I felt a tingling sensation on my forehead that felt like a very gentle finger. It moved down the center of my forehead to my nose and down past my lips to my chin. It repeated this several times. After once or twice of this, two more sensations developed on either side of the center and moved in opposite directions. I lingered in His presence and when I arose, I was no longer the same girl battling with depression and anxiety. I was renewed in my mind and my heart was pure. HE MADE ME NEW. I am a new creation IN Christ. I am IN Him and He is IN me.

Love is in the Air.. or Something Like That...

I've been thinking a lot about the love of God and I've noticed something. I've noticed that we don't fight FOR love, but we fight ABOUT love. We fight about homo/heterosexual rights, fornication, and things that relate to these matters but as Christians, we fail to fight for what the Bible declares love as. I'm tired of hearing people claim that we are supposed to love everyone despite their sexual orientation, religion, political views, upbringing, or anything else that people are stereotyped as. Yes, this is true and the Word of God does say that we are to love as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it, but, this statement of "love" is being used against God. HE is LOVE! What He says is love is love. I pray that Christians unite together and fight for what God says is love in His Word, rather than fighting about what everyone else has to say. As a Christian, stand for the Word of God, stand for righteousness! Stand for love as God defines it. I'm charging all Christians to stand for what the Bible declares as truth. If we stand together and fight FOR love, then love will abound. United we stand, but divided we fall! That is what's wrong with the church today. We do not stand for the Word of God and we have sat back and been idle long enough! People of every generation, I charge you to stand for love!

Pedestals and Misadventure

As a PK, people love to think that you're supposed to be perfect. When I was a young kid, I struggled with this a lot! It was super hard for me because I'm one of those people who tries to please everyone. What I found out the hard way is that PKs are kids and people too and trying to live up to other people's expectations will only make you fall further and harder. I tried so so so hard to impress people with my "godliness". I put quotes around this word because I was far from being godly. I was like those pharisees that Jesus talks about in the Bible who would go out in the street and pray super loud just so other people would hear. I wasn't even really living for the Lord. Sometimes I would have my heart in the right place and I would try so hard, but other times, I would lose sight of who I was and I would try to fill the shoes of 1,000,000,000 people who weren't me. BUT THEN, I fell in love with JESUS! I stopped constantly worrying about how others thought I should be or act and starting discovering what God thought about me and who he knew I was. Stop trying to be everything the world says you should be and fall into the arms of Jesus. He says that you're already enough.